Why World of Warcraft is Evil.

After a longstanding break from the trappings of this massive multi-online player role playing game, I feel the echo of fast flying fireballs, swift strokes of sharpened claws and the "swat swat" of feathered mythical mount wings calling me from the depths of the Molten Core. Even though this game is filled with epic adventures of massive time wasting properties, I still am drawn to the alternative of a wasted Saturday afternoon of watching Barefoot Contessa on the food network channel.

I think the ultimate reason I stopped playing in the first place was because the addictive drama-induced faux reality that is running a 150+ member guild was suddenly gone, and the game just didn't have the same appeal to me anymore. Whilst being a guild master had it's moments of wanting to rip out your hair and reach through your headset to kill the annoying "stewiegryphons" of the game, it still was a lot of fun to be in charge of a group with the same interests and goals. Kind of like running a football team, minus the football.

With Blizzard's inevitable release of new patches, new content and a new level cap, the idea of restarting a new character wants to make me punch bunnies, but I do miss the social outlet that an MMORPG provides. Especially one where you've grown to become attached to acquintances that mean much more that a big furry bear, or a staff-totin' robed priest that likes to slap you on the ass.

I do miss playing with my friends a great deal. It's truly amazing how meeting some animated cartoon figures fighting a big fish that spouts water to kill you can turn into meeting some of the greatest people I've ever considered friends. Besides, who else can you count on to not answer their phones at 3:00A.M. to discuss the evil that is Journey.

See you in game.

Hey Soap!

Absolutely LOVE this song.

What happened to Saturday Morning Cartoons?

Seriously, I remember the good ole' days of waking up and watching Looney Toons, Transformers, Heman, She-rah, Thundercats, Tom & Jerry, maybe even some Ninja Turtles.

It's been a long time since I've actually been awake to watch Saturday morning cartoons, but now with the new sleep schedule, it's unavoidable that I can't sleep in on the weekends and I'm seriously disappointed with the crap of cartoons that it's on. When did Saturday morning cartoons go Japanese anime? Where in the hell have I been? My kids know what each show is, and I guess it's just their generation, but man is it crap. I guess it's part of the anime craze that a lot of people are into, that I just don't see the point of. Guess it's just not my style.

I think I'll go back to bed and take my Cringer/Battle cat action figure with me.

NIN Dazzles With Lasers, LEDs and Stealth Screens

Nine Inch Nails have pulled out all the stops for their high-tech new tour, creating a groundbreaking, fully interactive visual display that is as much a part of the show as the band's instruments. Reviews have called it everything from a "vision of splendor" to "the pinnacle of video art."

read more | digg story

Getting into the swing of things...

Haven't blogged because I've been adjusting to the new work schedule, and when I do get home from putting in an eight hour day, I'm pretty exhausted. So, a quick update for you active blog readers. So far, work is fantastic! For the first time in about 6 years, I actually have looked forward to going to work in the morning. I feel really renewed, and feel excited to learn another focus of law, and stepping outside of my comfort zone. I'm catching on pretty quick and learning a lot more about unemployment law. It's really interesting to read stories about why/how people get fired. One of these days I'll have to relate some stories, but for now, it's Friday, Greg and I are in jammy, sit by the fireplace with a glass of wine kind of mode, so I'm gonna call it good for the day. Cheers!

The new money paying thingie....

I LOVE MY JOB! The last two days have invigorated me with new purpose and hope. I really think I found the perfect fit. For some reason Greg is mad at me tonight and has decided to pursue the "silent treatment" method. Normally, I would be concerned, but whatever I did, or whatever has his knickers in a bunch isn't going to effect the figurative "happy pill" I've digested. Life is good.

Kitty Update:

Can be snuggles time?

September Arrives

Well, September has finally arrived and puts another piece of the puzzle together for our family. This summer was quite a whirlwind, and I can honestly say that I'm glad it's over.

In summing up the summer, all I can say is "Whew." Our first big change was moving into our house in June. We were eagerly anticipating moving for the entire month of May, happened to both get ourselves worked up and sick mid-month and couldn't get our apartment ready before the move-in day finally came, which added to the stress and chaos of it all. Moving in and of itself is hard enough, but not being ready for it was just overwhelming. We're here in our house for at least a year, and hopefully will remain here for quite longer than that. The move was great, we love it here and couldn't have been happier to leave our apartment after 5 years. Apartments are not made for long-term use, especially when we moved in with a 3 year old and a 9 month old when we walked through the door. After cleaning it out and seeing the damage report, I'm kind of surprised we got off as cheaply as we did.

So, July comes around and we handled the moving situation as best we could being that we had an entire month to get our apartment cleaned, furniture moved and into the new place. It might have gone better if we hadn't have been procrastinators and waited until the last weekend, but I really can't blame us for wanting to spend any extra spare minute of the weekend enjoying having a yard and not walking on top of each other for the first time. You always think you have more time. It also didn't help that I got laid off in the middle of July.

Losing my job was a blessing in disguise, really. I've done Social Security law for over 10 years now, and have worked for attorneys all of my life. I really can't say I was completely dedicated to my job for the last 3 months because I do think I was suffering from burn out and just needed an extended break from it all. Being by myself day in and day out was nice in one way because you don't have to worry about office politics, but being a social creature, I think it did take a toll. I was upset at first to be without a paycheck, but I was also really glad that Greg and I worked together, and I was able to take about 6-7 weeks off of work and be with my kids. The downside of that was living on the limited amount of money that was my unemployment benefits, and not being able to furnish or go shopping for little knick knacks & treasures for our new place.

August seemed to really drag on, and as each week went by, I became more and more stressed about finances, and worried I wouldn't be able to find a good job. I have always wanted to work for the state, and applied my brains out for every open position that I could find. Then came the news about the state hiring freeze. I was pretty downhearted when they put a big announcement that no more jobs could be filled becaue those were the only jobs I had been applying for. Despite getting interviews, most of the agencies warned me during the interviews that they might not be able to even hire, but had to conduct the process anyways. It was pretty distressing. It felt like there was going to be no end to the interviews with no offers, but then last week came the news.

I'm really excited to start down a new career path. I really like the division I'll be working for, as it seems like a very small functional little family network. I'm wondering what the difference between working for attorneys and working for Judges will be, and I'm hoping it's a good difference. I was warned that I am on a 6 month probation period in order to become a permanent state employee and any hijinks or lack performance would result in termination, so I'm pretty worried about that. The last two jobs I've had here in Olympia have not ended so good, one being fired from and the other being laid off, and to be completely honest, I am concerned that maybe something is wrong with me at this point.

I'm very nervous and scared about starting tomorrow, because I do want to do a really good job, and I think the change from what I have been doing career wise is a good move for me, because I'll get to see a whole other side of law. This time, I'm on the other side of appeals. No more helping needy client, no more grouchy attorneys, no more dealing with the public. It will all be different.

The girls start school this week as well, and the thought of Katie and Candice both in school is just odd to me. Time moves so fast, but I'm excited that they are getting older and their personalities are starting to unfold. Another new change will be that daycare is now at my house, with family. My Aunt Cherie is going to be the new nanny/housekeeper and I'm excited that the girls can ride the bus and come home to a familiar face since I won't be here.

All in all, the changes are good, and everything is starting to settle in and fall into place. I'm glad the chaotic summer of change is over and can look forward to hopefully some stability and routine now.

The stork delivered.

No, I'm not pregnant.

We did however wake up to some mew mew'ing this morning and low and behold we were left with a little angel of a kitten on our doorstep. We don't know if momma cat hatched us a kitten present under our house or whether she dropped it off. Could have been some asshole of human that just didn't want to deal with itty bitty kitty. The poor little guy is probably only about 4 weeks old, as his eyes are barely open. I made an immediate run for the pet store where he was indulged with a bottle (he bit off the nipple) and kitty formula, as well as Friskies Deluxe Gourmet cat food.

Darla doesn't quite know what to make of him yet as she is pretty bitchy about the whole scene at the moment and poor Connor just wants to lick the poor feline to death.

After some debate over names, and a strict "ZOMG NO WAI" about the neighbor kids suggesting "Frappucino", it came down to "Doyle" and "Liam". Greg and the girls voted for "Doyle" and I was overruled. R.D.H. was also a close choice, as his name would officially be "Rogue Demon Hunter." But, we'll settle for Doyle for now.

Pictures coming soon.

On the verge of Friday...

...coming in with a bang! I am the new Legal Secretary for the Employment Security Department, Commissioner's Review office. I will be starting work on September 2nd, 2008. I don't want to hear any jokes about state workers...

Taking what comes...

I think I mentioned last week that I didn't get the job for the Attorney General's Office (AGO) that was answering the phones, which I was semi-thankful for, and I just got notified that I didn't get the Department of Ecology Legal Assistant job, which is okay, I can deal with that. The AGO isn't really a place that I want to work for, but as the denials start coming in, it's getting me a little stressed out.

I think my chances are pretty high that I may be working for the Employment Security Department (ESD) with the Commissioner's Review Office, but found out from my interview on Thursday that with the state hiring freeze, they had to turn in paperwork asking for pardon to hire. This may or may not be approved, and I was told that I would not hear back on an answer from them for another 2 weeks, which is really stressful! The other down side of me coming in Thursday was that I had to explain my reasons for leaving one of my law firms because my most recent boss decided to go "mental" and told them I was fired. Yeah, thanks. So, I'm assuming they felt I was dishonest on my application for employment because I didn't advertise my position was terminated. I hate that they might think I was dishonest because I'm normally a very highly dependable and honest person, so I had to think fast and cover my ass. Oh well, if it's meant to be, it will be. The waiting is killing me to get an answer.

The other down side for this whole job hunt thing is that the end of the month is quickly approaching, unemployment benefits are not fun to live on, school shopping must be done, and I'm ready to go back to work. I have decided not to count on anything, basically to expect the unexpected, and apply for more jobs. I've got to find something to get the money flowing back in our household, and may just have to take a job that I don't like for now.

Damn the state hiring freeze, damn this being an election year because that is the reason state jobs are frozen, and god damn me not testing as well as I could have with the AGO. I'm feeling pretty down in the dumps lately and starting to really feel the pressure of not having a job. Greg has been really supportive and that has helped, but I'm pretty frustrated with myself for not picking up a job quickly. I've worked since I was in high school, never having more than 2 weeks off in between jobs, and being on the 5th week of not working, I'm starting to panic.

Thursdays make me grin.

Especially because I have no kids for the weekend! Greg and I are free to roam about the house naked, play leap frog, or strip poker, without the watchful eyes of our little impressionables. Such a nice feeling to walk into a house and it's all quiet.

Not much to report on the job front. I didn't get one of the jobs I interviewed for because I was "overqualified" and the person they chose had more front-desk, reception experience. THANK GOD. There is no way I want to take a step back to 11 years ago when I was the office grunt. So, I'm a little relieved that I didn't have to take that job for the sake of getting through the door with the State.

I did hear back from my top choice, and they want me to come in this afternoon for a third, and hopefully final interview. I'm trying to keep my hopes up that they will give me an answer today or tomorrow, and that I won't have to wait another week for a final decision. I'll be extremely disappointed if I don't get this job, so I'm just trying to be mellow about it, which is why I'm having a glass of wine before my interview. Don't worry, I know I'll need to brush my teeth and chew some breathmints before I head in there. Can't let them know I'm a lush until after I'm getting my paychecks. Haven't heard from any of the other jobs yet, but as things are winding down this week, I'm hoping my prospects will look brighter after my interview today. The Judge that interviewed me twice in the last two weeks is an extremely funny, laid back and nice guy. I'm crossing my fingers he'll just say, "fuck it, hire her."

The weekend is upon us, and Greg and I have no plans other than to do absolutely nothing. Our house is clean, the lawn is mowed, and we have no kids! What more could we ask for?

The stress is almost over...

Another Monday, another week. I've been off work now for almost one month. It's been nice to spend quality time with my kids this summer before Katie goes back to school and Candice starts. Being able to enjoy our house without being gone for eight hours a day has also been nice. But, I'm feeling the pressure to get back to work, and I honestly don't feel complete unless I'm bringing in a paycheck to contribute.

The stresses of moving, of the "damage assessment" from our apartment, and the interviews are all done, but I think the hardest part of it all is what I have to do now, and that is wait. I was told that I'd be hearing back this week from all the jobs I interviewed for last week. I have high hopes for the Employment Security Department (ESD), and that is my top choice. The Attorney General's office was way too emotionally stuffy and stoic, and I have my fears about accepting a job there. Fortunately, ESD told me that they were "leaning towards me" as their final candidate, which is a good sign since they aren't supposed to give any kind of indication before they make a decision. They've been checking all my references as well, and my old employers have told me that they've given great recommendations. So, all I can do is cross my fingers and hope for the best.

The waiting is killing me.

Danger Will Robinson!

I think I'm going to hit overload! Actually, it's kind of a good thing. Maybe Governor Gregoire set something into motion by closing down employment proceedings for state agencies, because man oh man did I get a ton of calls today for interviews. I think it's because the jobs are closing and they are trying to fill positions quickly. I'm kind of excited because now I have a lot of interview prospects, but also a lot of research to do to get myself ready for interviews.... I got three more phone calls from the Attorney General's office, from different divisions, to interview for positions open. Mind you, it's all a secret conspiracy because they aren't supposed to be hiring, but said they were "referred my name" to contact.

Here are the divisions I'm interviewing for:

Department of Transportation and Public Construction, Highway Licensing Division.
This is an office assistant position, pay is not very appealing, but it's also a whole lot when you have nothing but rice and beans in your cupboard. Greg and I pretend we're in Tijuana most nights.

Department of Ecology, Solid Waste Division. Legal Secretary 2 position. I would get this job only for the fact that Matt Ford could have a "hay-day" with poop jokes, literally.

Department of Labor and Personnel, Legal Secretary 3 position. I would actually be a boss in this position to other newbie secretaries. I could pretend I'm Kenny and make my employee's go untangle chords when I'm frustrated.

Busy, busy week. Where's my rum?!

I'm only happy when it rains.

Another hot, humid Washington August day. I'm not amused. I would much rather be sipping my coffee, watching my deck get soaked by a wet, cold and peaceful rainstorm, but alas, not going to happen for at least another 5 days.

It's been a pretty busy week for me so far. I had to take another test at the Attorney General's office yesterday, which I fortunately passed. My finger is still numb with no feeling from being pinched, but at least it didn't effect my typing skills. The test I took was for a Legal Assistant, which was different and more difficult than the one I previously took. However, the good news is since I've now taken both sets of tests, I don't have to take anymore, and now just have to worry about interviews. Which in itself, is a good thing, had not our governor frozen all the state jobs as of August 4th. All state agencies are freezing all the positions that are open and won't be interviewing or hiring new applicants for the time being. Thanks America, for screwing the public because our power/energy and economy is about to hit the hypothetical "fan" and no one can afford to pay employees, unless your working for Exxon.

Anywho, this leaves me with only the applications and positions that I applied for and have closed since yesterday. Fortunately for me, I applied for about 20 jobs that were currently open, and none of my interviewers have canceled yet. So, I've got an interview Thursday for the AG's office, and 2 interviews on Friday. One for the Employment Security Department that I've been crossing my fingers for (this will be my 2nd interview), and another interview with the Attorney General's office again, but for a different division.

Now that the apartment is done, I can focus and concentrate on finding a job. I have my unemployment insurance coming in each week, which definitely eases the financial strain for the time being, but doesn't furnish an empty house or pay off impending debt. Hopefully something will come along soon.

On a happy note, Congratulations to Claire and Heath McGinnis on their new arrival! I'm glad you are all safe and healthy. Can't wait to see some pics!

Which of these things is not like the other?

I caught my cat napping today, and walked by my daughter's room, and had to do a double-take.

New Hobbies

So as most of you know, Greg and I have a fish pond at our new house. We've been researching Koi fish, and stocked some in our pond. They've been living here with us for about a month and have already grown over an inch. We love them!

Settling In...

We're finally settling into our new house and can relax a whole lot better since we're finished with our apartment, besides awaiting the damage report that's surely to come. Not much we can do about it, but wait and see what it'll be. I'm assuming since we've lived there for 5 years, it shouldn't be too bad since they can't charge us for carpet/paint. Ah well...hopefully Greg won't have a heart attack when we do get it.

Now that that's over with, it's time to hit the pavement hard for a job. Can't be sitting at home everyday. As much as it's nice to be home and just enjoy being here, the work ethic in me is starting to come out and wants to make money. Honestly, I don't think I could ever be "Susie Homemaker". I love being home with my kids, but I also want to work, and it makes me feel more fulfilled when I'm earning an income.

So, here's the update on the employment front. I went to my interview yesterday with the Employment Security Department Commissioner's Review Office. It was pretty intimidating, especially since I walked into a room of 5 people waiting to interview me together. But, they made me feel right at home and I went chameleon on their ass and turned on the "Eriu Charm." It went pretty well as far as I could tell, but you never really know until you get that 2nd phone call. Well, I didn't have to wait long, because about 15 minutes after I got home from the interview, they called right back and scheduled me for a 2nd interview this next Friday. Which means, I passed the "bozo screening." At least I know they liked me at least enough to call me back again.

So, this next Friday is my big 2nd interview, probably more direct intimidating questions, maybe some hands on testing, or just sitting in front of the Judge panel. Eeeek! I think I'll do okay. Hey, I am Alpha Eriu!

I got called back from the Attorney General's Office to retest for another position, this time as a Legal Secretary. Which means, one more god damn test and they will never have to test me again, but also means I can't flub it up because those scores will be on my profile when I apply to any more positions within their office. Still haven't heard back on the Office Assistant job I tested for, but they said it would take 1-2 weeks.

Some more jobs I applied for closed this week, including a couple really cool positions I'm qualified for with the Washington State Patrol. Watch your criminal records people, because "I'm in your reportz, making yoo a secks offenderz." We'll see if they give me an interview.

That's about it as far as updates go. I'm crossing my fingers for the ESD Department, because it makes big money, you can wear jeans, and they said the phone never rings and they play cards during down time. Hahahah....I love the state.

No plans for the weekend except to drink beer, watch some movie, maybe play WoW with some nubs that I know, and chill. Hey, does anyone know when we can play DnD online yet? Cuz zomgijustcrituwithmahlightninbolt! LARP!

I smashed my fingers...

Literally. Of all the times to smash my fingers, especially when I will probably have to take more typing tests...good lord.

I guess I can't complain too much about it, because I smashed my fingers cleaning my apartment. But hey, guess what guys? IT'S DONE! If I have to put up with some smashed up mamma-jamma's for a few days while I sit in my new house not worrying about my god awful apartment, so be it.

Well, Gram's came up for the weekend so that Greg and I could move our crap this weekend. Me and the mother patriarch usually butt heads a lot of time, but when you need to use your grandma for free babysitting and food while you're cleaning your apartment, then that's what you gotta do. Anyways, it was a good visit, of course, Greg and I weren't really around much. I think the most memorable part of the whole weekend was me telling her to "Shit or get off the pot" about her wanting to move up into town....again. She took it well honestly, and said she appreciated me always being blunt with her.

So, Greg and I rented a U-haul for 2 days this weekend, and moved all our crap out of our apartment, and plus about a BILLION bags of trash from all the stuff we got rid of. We realized now that we never want to own any more meaningless crap to haul around with us, ever again! I saved Battlecat though, I told Greg he wasn't allowed to throw Cringer away. Anyways, we had to hire movers for Greg's big ass HDTV, so we basically did all the moving ourselves until we both said "fuck it" and left boxes and some leftover furniture for the movers to finish up with. Greg had to go back to work on Monday, and left me with the fun part of scrub and sweat with the apartment. But hey, that's cool, he's making the moolah right now. Anyways, well I took me and the kid's over to the apartment at around 11:00, and I was folding up our black lab's x-large heavy dog crate when SNAP! there go my fingers caught in the dog crate - both hands. I seriously don't know what I would have done if my daughter hadn't been there to lift the crate so my fingers could get free. I'm guessing either pinched off, or dead from no circulation, because with both of my hands caught in a huge crate that I couldn't lift or move, I would have been toast. I think I scared my kids half to death because I started crying from the pain, and once my hands were free, I couldn't stop crying. Poor Candice started crying and hugging me. Katie ran and brought me a towel with ice. So this all happened at about 11:30, which meant, I had to continue cleaning and scrubbing with fingers that have no feeling in them because they are smooshed. In fact, I still have no feeling in my left pointer finger. I hope that comes back.

I did work despite me being a retarded clutzoid, and it finally paid off. I picked up Greg at 5:00, borrowed my Aunt's truck for a few hours to haul some more trash and miscellaneous items, and by 11:30PM, we are finally done and never have to step foot in that god awful place ever again. WEWT.

So, if you've been wondering where we have been lately, our backs our sore, Greg can hardly walk, my fingers are smooshy and deformed, and I'm drinking a beer typing out this text finding it odd that I can't feel some of my fingers hit the keys.

Take heart however, because we're back and we now can start relaxing.

Taking tests...

So, I had my testing today with the Washington State Attorney General's Office, which by the way, I passed with flying colors! Woot for me! I was pretty nervous about taking a test because for one thing, I haven't been in school for about 12 years, and am kind out of date as far as on-the-job experience testing goes.

So, for one thing, I couldn't find the damn AG's office today. It took me forever to figure out where this friggin' hidden basement was. Here I am wiggin' that I'm late for a testing appointment, and I figured out the best way to soothe myself when I'm lost, no joke! So, I call the HR department, and explain that I'm late, and I'm driving around in circles, trying to find this hidden closet of a street to turn on, when I suddenly see the street and literally exclaimed out loud: "BRB, going to Narnia!" Thanks Kenny, for an anology that I will probably use the rest of my life now.

Thankfully, it turns out the testing room was overbooked and the HR department was really glad I was late, because it worked out for them.

So I was a given a base scoreline for the test I was taking. Below I have listed the scores I had to acheive in order to move forward in the selection process for the positon:

Keyboarding: 40 wpm
Data Entry: 6,800 hkm
Filing: 70%
Proofreeding: 70%

Here is how I tested:

Keyboarding: 85 wpm
Data Entry: 12, 500 hkm
Filing: 90%
Proofreading: 83%

So, I pretty much kicked ass on Keyboarding and Data Entry. This is due to many, many diplomatic multi-tasking conversations as a guild master in World of Warcraft. I think all my fast typing skills finally paid off, thanks for the numerous hours typing out why Stewiegryphon couldn't be an officer, multiple times....

Proofreading was definitely my worst subject. I was wishing I had a "Pocket Matt Ford" at that moment to help me be an immaculate English speaking and spelling guru, but alas, I managed to pass. I'm happy I at least didn't abbreviate: brb, lrn2play, omgwookies, newbalert, usuckabigfat1, ih8proofreadinglettersbyidiotsomgwutawasteoftimewutever...

All in all, I was told that I should hear back for the next step of our wonderful state government's processing system within the next 1-2 weeks. I did get the "wink" by the HR department that I didn't suck, and my scores were awesome compared to others, so I have nothing to complain about, oh, and I almost forgot, some dude liked my shoes when I was waiting for my test... maybe he was omgiwantbuttsecksgay?... but, can't blame him, my high-heels are amazing.

Finally!

The interviews start rolling in...

Well, here are my prospects so far:

I've got a testing and interview on Friday with the Washington State Attorney General's office, as an office assistant. The salary is "meh", but the benefits are outstanding. I'd be starting over career wise, but working for the AG's office definitely looks good on your resume, and gives you a starting point to move over to other positions as they open. Anything that gets me through the door, is a good thing.

I have an interview next Thursday for the Washington State Unemployment Commissioner's Review Office. This job is not only state, but union as well. That is a definite plus, plus, plus in my book. I would be responsible for working with Administrative Review Judges for employees being denied unemployment benefits. Acknowledging appeals/petitions, drafting Notices of Decisions, etc. Lots of responsibility, but salary comparable. This is one of my top choices.

I received an email from the Washington State Board of Industrial Insurance Appeals for a Legal Secretary position for the Industrial Appeal Judges. The HR department wanted me to send in my resume and references for the current opening they have before it closed, and I'm pretty confident I'll get an interview for this one, being that I have experience in Worker's Compensation Law. This is also another top choice.

On the non-careerish path wise, I applied for a job as a Liquor Control Board License Investigator. I was informed today that I've been selected to move forward, and shoud be receiving notice of further proceedings soon, which means, "yaay, more interviews!" This would be a fun job. It's high client contact, and reporting, and pretty much gets to be the person who decides who gets to sell alcohol in our area. Wow, FUN! NO RUM FOR YOU!

Anyways, things are looking up this week, I'm excited about my job prospects. I guess applying for about a dozen state jobs so far is finally starting to pay off as some of these openings close. I'll keep you posted!

Special Thanks to Heath McGinnis

Heath and I had a great MSN conversation before the application decided to hate my computer on Friday, and today I received a special care package in the mail from him.

Thank you so much Heath for your support, your advice and the books! I've already started reading.

You truly are someone I admire and respect and I appreciate you consistently lending an ear. Good friends are hard to come by, but truly great friends are a rarity.

Another Monday, another week.

Well, it's Monday again. I feel sorry for everyone that had to get up and go to work today after their nice weekends at home, but then again, I'm a little sad I don't have anywhere to get up and go to. So far, out of all the job applications I've put in, I have one potential interview coming up, but haven't yet gotten a call for an interview. I'm guessing the state works a little slow in processing applications maybe, and that is my hope. I had about 6 jobs close out this weekend, so I'm pretty much watching my phone and waiting. Knowing my luck, I'll end up taking just "some job" to get by with, and get called the next day to come interview with the Attorney General's office. I'm kicking myself that I turned down an offer to come work for them 2 years ago. What was I thinking? Greg totally deserves to give me the "I told you so," speech for that.

As far as weekends go, mine was actually pretty good. Greg and I had a big heart to heart on Friday, because I basically went into "meltdown" mode from stress and frustration, and we came out of it a bit stronger I think, which is always good. Sometimes I just need a reality check or a nap.

I spent some time leveling my horde druid in World of Warcraft on Saturday, which was a nice distraction, but also unproductive. I think the only reason I still play this game is so that I can hang out and talk to Kenny and Matt. Heath, learn2play WoW again.

Our new neighbor came over to introduce herself this weekend, because our kids have been playing together A LOT lately, and what would be a better introduction than getting her really drunk, right? Mission accomplished! Actually, it was a lot of fun, we talked until about 1 o'clock in the morning getting to know each other and just shooting the breeze until her husband started shooting off fireworks as a message to get back home. Greg and I had a great time until I started "tossing the cookies" from the overly large boxed wine we guzzled. Thank goodness I waited until after our guest left.

Sunday turned out to be a recovery day from the Wine Box Monster, and I think I found the new cure for hangovers. Eggrolls. Seriously. From now on, I vow to have my freezer stocked with frozen eggrolls to heat up for my drinking indescretions.

I did learn another thing this weekend. I'm getting too old to get that drunk.

Insecurities, Doubts and Worry, oh my!

Considering that I am trying to replace my actual Journal that I frequently write in (Yes, I'm not kidding) into something more unique and out-of-the-box for me, like this Blog, I thought I would attempt to get a little more serious with myself, real, and just release some emotions and thoughts that basically need to be released.

First off, I've decided that relationships are complicated. I should know this by now, being that I'm on Marriage #2, and should have learned things that I wanted to improve on the second go-around, but like all things, I learn a little something new everyday and maybe that's why I'm feeling a little confused at the moment. Maybe some of my insecurities go back to being married so young, and having a lot of pressure and responsibility thrust upon me at a young age. But, that is another topic in itself completely that would require a lot of psychological counseling and insight, but for now, bear with me.

Let me try to skim this down to the basics to give you the gist of why I'm feeling a little "weird about it" tonight. I was raised in an extremely religious household, the kind where dating is not approved unless you are chaperoned, you aren't allowed to associate with other people or read materials not associated to your religion, and all the normal moral stuff like no sleeping between the sheets, sharing the spit, looking under the "family bush" was accepted. Dating was pretty much impossible, and all you really had to entertain yourself until you were 18 and able to get married so you could wake the neighbors with loud, obnoxious, awkward sex magic. You never really got a chance to know or invest time with someone because your hormones were so raging that you could not wait to have some dude "pop the question" so you could do the mattress mambo. Okay, enough sexual analogies. You get the point. Well, those of you who know me, know that I never really followed those kind of rules really well, and started dating my first husband at age 17. Now, had I known about contraception, sexual responsibility, and spermicide, I probably wouldn't have ended up pregnant at 18. Having a child was something I have never regretted, but marrying a guy I barely knew because "it was the right thing to do" and finding out he was a drug addict, alcoholic and wife beater, is something I do. Now, I should have seen it coming right? Oh, let's add pathological liar to that list too. Marry a christian boy from your congregation and you end up with one super fantastic, spiritual, and successful family right?

Anyways, back on track... despite the hardship of living with an abusive, drug addicted fanatic, I tried my best to make it work, because that's what I was raised to believe and that's what I felt I had to do. In the end, I finally gave up. I finally threw in the towel around age 23, and realized after being split up, separated, and scared for my life at times, it just wasn't worth the witness relocation program costs.

Come down to modern day, I have a great, loving husband, no doubt. Greg is absolutely everything to me. The problem is that, sometimes I feel that if we aren't connecting, don't really talk to each other, whether from lack of tiredness, stress, frustration, whatever, I feel like I'm tromping through the forest of bleakness. I don't think I'm an emotionally needy person, but no one really likes to admit that they are, so maybe I'm just being ignorant. Considering our family is really going through a lot right now, namely, change of home, change of jobs, financial concern, I can see where this puts a big strain on couples. Greg's always been a really quiet person and doesn't become emotional or speak his mind about things often, in fact, he kind of gets repelled with those "deep relationship, let's get back on the same page, are you okay" conversations that I feel are extremely necessary for me to remain sane. Honestly, sometimes, I just don't understand. I've been told by every male that I've been in a relationship with that what I want is fictional and unrealistic. Maybe that's just me living in my own little Lisa world, but I am still stubborn enough to hang onto what I want, and I don't think anyone can blame me for it. But, I am also readily able to admit when I'm wrong. Perhaps next blog we'll dive into the "fictional and unrealistic world" of Lisa, for now, I am signing off.

Flashbacks.

So I was going through some video's today, remembering how I used to sit in my room when I was about 8, trying to figure out what kind of music I liked. My friends are going to laugh so hard when they find out what my favorite kind of music was back then. But hey, I'm a good D.J. now right?...right?

No wonder my Dad threw out this cassette from the car driving me to school:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nx64_N4AA04

And another favorite of mine. I used to seriously turn the lights off in my room and sit in my window being "emo". These guys totally moved me, I don't care if they aren't real.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSqV3rWM4iQ

And finally, another video to show my developing interest in music, what good times! My parents also destroyed this cassette.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9li1w2sMyE

Pork Chops and Applesauce...

Was kind of close to tonight's dinner. There were pork chops, with homemade mash potatoes, gravy and some greens. Why should you care what our stomach's are digesting right now? Well, not only is my stomach churnin' "burnin' love", I feel it's important because I'm slowly turning back into a role that I strive for, and that my friends, is a wife and mom.

I have such good memories of coming home from school to my mom making fresh bread, cookies, the good ole' stew, you name it, my house growing up, always smelled good. Of course, 28 years ago it was pretty common for a young kid's mom to be home, and now a day, it's pretty rare. I of course, have stepped into a financial supportive role with the rest of the herd in order to pay homage to the almight dollar. For the last year, I got a taste of the part-time work force life, and now, well, I'm pretty much unemployed until I can find another job. It's good in some ways, bad in others. For one thing, my paycheck is my daughters' dirty socks and constant bickering, on the other hand, I'm saving money with no daycare, and being creative with dinner. I have time to get our apartment taken care of without rushing to get out by August 1st, which would be a relief if I wasn't a procrastinator.

All in all, I feel pretty good right now. I can't complain too much about financial worries because hey, we have our house, we have water, we have power, we got some food, and I'm not sleeping next to the back-pack totin' dreadlock-headed weirdo that was peeing in the alley yesterday when I cleaned out my desk.

I've got a potential interview coming up with our State's unemployment office as a Judge's Clerk which I'm pretty excited about. I also have about 20 other applications in to different state agencies and so I've definitely got some prospects for a new job here soon, and that is a good thing. I'm also pretty stoked that Greg can come home to dinner on the table, a clean house and fresh laundry every day. He hasn't said so yet, but I know he appreciates that things around our house have changed.

Thanks Matt!

So tonight I had a discussion with one of my best virtual reality friends, Matt Ford. If you're interested in a good read, go to www.intemperatechristian.blogspot.com. I honestly respect his opinion towards Christianity, and spiritual matters, because he's given me a lot to think about.

Thanks Matt for letting me vent, and letting me get things out about past stuff. Perhaps someday I'll open the floodgates of drama related stuff that is Christendom, and what I was raised to believe, but for now, I'll give you something light and fluffy....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qTFqnDpuvE

What's Karma?

3329 Woodard Green Drive, and what a name it is. Greg and I have finally arrived in our new home. After 5 weary years in the Black "Sludge" Lake Apartments, I finally got the "go-ahead" to find ourselves a suitable place to establish our nest, and couldn't be happier. We've got the standard typical suburban house that comes with the 3 bedroom, 2 bath, 1 cat, 1 dog, plus fence establishment. On the condiment side of housing, we are well equipped with 70's porno hot tub of cheesiness, well equipped with strobing color changing light, stocked Koi pond and smores-making fire pit of doom. What more could you ask for?

With all these changes of good karma, undoubtedly something's gotta go wrong in the universe. yes? We'll don't be disappointed! Greg's car is officially a pile of junkyard decor, while my steady law office income just became the same amount it costs me to play World of Warcraft for the month. That's right folks, just when things are looking up, we are now looking at replacing a car engine, and my income can barely buy those trendy flip-flops the hippies are wearin' in downtown Olympia.

All in all, I've decided to be positive with the flaming ball of lard soaked crap we've been given despite our good fortune as of late. For starters, I've got a blog, which means that my emo-retarded self can vent to a virtual reality world of nothingness instead of wasting time writing in my tear-stained, chardonnay soaked journal which is in dire need of transcription. All in all, I've got a lot to be thankful for, things could be worse, and drama-filled details will have to be saved for another blog entry. That's how it works, right?

I am a blog...

And hopefully I will keep you entertained.